ICU, broken collar bone, and resignations

 

Sooooo, I’m going to write a blog.  All the cool kids are doing it, I might as well too.  Let me just say straight out of the shoot what this blog will not be……  I will not be writing about fashion, unless you think Garanimals and Faded Glory is fashionable.  If you don’t know what those two things are, I just don’t think we can be friends. This blog will probably be full of grammatical errors.  We have an almost 3 year old, 5 year old, and two teenagers at home and my husband just had 5 brain hemorrhages so just look over any misplaced commas or run-on sentences. I thought I would write a blog to encourage other moms, step-moms, moms that have adopted, moms who feel like they stink at this parenting thing, and most of all give you a laugh at some of the crazy stuff I seem to get myself into.  If anything, I pray that through this blog  you can see that I am the worst sinner of them all, but that I have a God that is ok with that and he is willing to love me no matter how many times I mess up.  He knows I am a work in progress.

I thought I would write about the event that pretty much shook me to the core and caused Kevin and I to totally re-evaluate our lives.  I woke up on December 23^rd getting ready to tackle the day and finish any last minute Christmas stuff that you always put off to the last minute, then you almost have a nervous breakdown trying to get it all done.  Kevin wasn’t feeling well,  He had flu-like symptoms, but that sweet man still got up early, left the house by 6 am and then brought home donuts for the kids before he decided to go to the doctor.  I should share that I wasn’t very sympathetic to Kevin.  I was a little annoyed that he was still milking this sick thing. He had been sick on and off since Thanksgiving. I wanted to say,” Come on Man! Pull yourself together!” In a few hours I would later regret my attitude and ugly thoughts with all my being.  Wives, please believe me when I say, we should choose our words carefully when speaking to our husbands. There have been times that I have treated strangers better than I have the man that I vowed to love in sickness and in health.

  Kevin did go to an urgent care clinic that day.  They thought it was just a viral infection. I called the doctor’s office after Kevin got home. He just looked so bad. They advised me to take him to the hospital if his fever went any higher.  By 5 pm the pain on the left side of his head was excruciating. I took him to the ER. Within an hour the doctor came in to let me know they were taking Kevin to St. Vincent to the NSICU floor. The CT revealed that he had a hemorrhage in his left front lobe.  I texted my sister and parents immediately because that’s what the baby of the family does when she has a problem. 

  I followed the ambulance to Little Rock.  On the way there I called my sweet friend Kristin to tell her what was going on.  She was like white on rice getting our Sunday school class together to pray for Kevin.  Kristin and her husband Richard would later arrive at the hospital within minutes after us. My oldest sister and her husband beat us to the hospital. I cannot even tell you how I felt when I saw Rachel waiting for me. I lost it and my sister was there to help me, just like she always has. Soon to follow was my big sister and her husband who made excellent time from Paragould. Stephanie has been like a second mom to me and has always been there to pick up the pieces when life didn’t go the way I planned. Next, my kind-hearted boss and his sweet wife (who helped me deliver Oliver) arrived, followed by a precious mentor who counseled me while I was the Preschool Ministry Coordinator at FBC.  God knows who you need at just the right time.  Just so you know, my mom and dad were in constant contact with my sisters.  My mom was recovering from diverticulitis and my dad just had surgery the day before to remove cancer on his lip. Otherwise my parents would have been there within a New York minute. 

That first night was scary.  We didn’t know what the future held.  I felt like I should apologize to Kevin for every time I had wronged him.  He looked up at me and told me he didn’t remember half the things I was talking about.  God love him. I made a bargain with God.  If he would heal Kevin I would be the best wife ever.  I would always speak kindly to Kevin, I would love him the way God meant for a wife to love her husband, and I would, as hard as it may be, laugh at his corny jokes even when they annoyed me.  

After the neurosurgeon ran every test known to man, he determined that Kevin had a Cerebral Cavernous Malformation.  He was born with this malformation and the constant coughing was likely the cause of the hemorrhaging. They also found that there were 5 hemorrhages, but only 1 that they were worried about.  There is a 1% chance this will happen again.  We will go back at the first of February for another MRI to determine if Kevin will need surgery to remove the largest hemorrhage.  We are praying that Kevin’s body will reabsorb the biggest bleed.  If that’s not the case, we will deal with it, we have complete confidence God will take care of us just like he always has and always will. 

I know this is a long post.  I probably will never write one as long as this again, but let me say one last thing.  Kevin and I were really struggling with our faith.  For the past 2 years I’ve been the preschool coordinator at our church.  I’ve neglected my spiritual health to the point of burnout.  2014 has not been a kind year to our family.  We were down.  We stopped having our daily quiet time with God, we stopped praying except for throwing up a few trench prayers when we were in a big bind. You would have never known by looking at us.  We’ve learned to put on a happy face and do God’s work with a smile.  Life got messy and we bailed on God.  GOD DID NOT BAIL ON US.  Can I get an Amen?!?  If you are struggling with your faith, your church, your child, or your husband, run towards God.  Immerse yourself in his word.  Fight the good fight.  Satan is a butthole. (Don’t tell my 5 year old that I said butthole)  He will make you think that God is not for you.  He will make you think that church isn’t necessary, but just a social outlet.  He will make you think that the church you are going to isn’t doing enough for you.  You will become cynical, unsympathetic, and you will not extend grace to anyone.  Does this sound familiar?  This was me. God showed me that he is for me.  During this trial, God showered us with kind and loving people.  If Kevin and I would have squashed our sense of entitlement towards the church the first time the thought entered our heads, we would have seen the good.  One of my dear friends always says, “It’s not about me!” How right she is! So if you are throwing yourself a pity party, please learn from my mistakes! Get into God’s word, take captive your negative thoughts, and for Pete’s sake go volunteer to do something at your church. I promise God has a job just for you! If you don’t have a church home.  Start looking today.  If it wasn’t for the friendships that we’ve made at church we would be in a dark place right now. It was our church family that did what God called them to do and ministered to us in our time of need.  Oh, my title was ICU, Broken collar bones, and resignations.  So Fenley broke his collar bone while we were at the hospital. It’s a miracle he was our first child to break a bone. He is expected to make a full recovery. = )  After much prayer Kevin and I decided I needed to be home to take care of our family during this season in our life so I  resigned  from my position at church. I’m looking forward to what God has in store for our family, friends, and our church in 2015.

Blessings,

Katie

Seek the Lord and his knowledge; seek his presence continually. Psalm 105:4

Warning- next week I’m going to write about divorce, second marriages and blended families. I’ve done all three. = )